Month: March 2007

The Discipline of Serving One Master

Sarah StrightLeave a comment

When I was fourteen and new to the whole teenage thing, I went with my youth group on a missions trip for 10 days to a few places across Eastern Canada. Our motto was: “40 people, 10 days, 8 cities, 1 bus, 1 message: Get Off The Fence“. In those 8 cities, we did services: open-air services, youth services, church services, and everywhere we set up our equipment, we led worship and did some sort of dramatic interpretation of our motto, “Get Off The Fence”. Today, at twenty-five, that message is sinking in.

Jesus, talking to his disciples:

“He that is faithful with little things is faithful with big things also. He that is not honest with little things is not honest with big things. If you have not been faithful with riches of this world, who will trust you with true riches? If you have not been faithful in that which belongs to another person, who will give you things to have as your own?

No servant can have two bosses. He will hate the one and love the other. Or, he will be faithful to one and not faithful to the other. You cannot be faithful to God and to riches at the same time.”

The proud religious law-keepers heard all these things. They loved money so they made fun of Jesus. Jesus said to them, “You are the kind of people who make yourselves look good before other people. God knows your hearts. What [people] think is good is hated in the eyes of God. Luke 16:10-15, NLV

Tonight, PJ challenged the youth group where I “sponsor”. He asked, “Can you honestly say that God and not money or materialism is your master?” He encouraged us to weigh our motives, testing ourselves by inquiring which master occupies the most time, thought and effort in our everyday lives.

I know what people think is good, and I can usually emulate it quite well, especially in church, where people are quick to judge something that seems to serve the world rather than God. But when there’s no one there to watch me, no one to impress, I’m not quite that person. I recognize that God is in me, I have a good heart, I’m a leader, I’m a “woman of God”, I’ve made good choices, etc. Clarification: this isn’t about self-esteem, folks; this is about spiritual discipline.

Our speaker last week gave us 5 Spiritual Disciplines to live by:

1. Simple & Sacrificial Living
2. Prayer, Fasting & Study
3. Solitude & Silence
4. Worship
5. Service to Others

In my daily life, I don’t naturally choose to engage in these disciplines. I don’t fill more time with these activities than music, movies, shopping, reading, etc. (again, clarification: this is not about not being able to have fun with music, movies, shopping reading, etc., but rather about balance and, again, DISCIPLINE!)

I wanna be faithful and honest with those things that seem so inconsequential in this big, wide world of media and malls (both of which I will continue to love), and I sure as hell don’t want to languish on the fence between two masters. So help me God, I will learn the discipline of taking time to serve my true master so that I am not found unfaithful.

Offense

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After reading Jimi’s “Boyfriend’s Rebuttal” to my post “My Cyber Boyfriend“, some of you may be taken aback by his use of some words (“ass” and “damn”). You’re wondering about my choice in men and you may even secretly doubt my own “Christian” values. Why am I with a guy that’s so open about swearing? Why did I not delete his post to prevent people from possibly being offended?

You’ll have to ask Jimi about his stance on swearing (yes, he does actually have something to say about it). I’m not going to either defend or debunk his use of different words (other than “o” instead of “au” when followed by “contraire“… that is just plain wrong).

As for me, I’m not offended. I’m likewise not offended when someone wears pyjamas to church, or spills their coffee on a Bible, or gets “Jesus is my homeboy” tattooed on their neck. I think the idea of “Christian” metalcore music is sweet (although I’m not a fan of the term “Christian” with regards to music and its genres)! I think Jesus would be willing to share a meal with his family in his house (your church) on Sundays, and I don’t think he’d quail at including wine in that meal. I think we could find Jesus at the movies and in the bars.

You may be thinking, “Sarah, this isn’t about legalism, it’s about your boyfriend’s potty mouth and your acceptance of it”.

I’d venture to say it’s about what really matters to us–someone’s actions or someone’s heart. People’s actions will often offend us, and if we leave it at that and refuse to dig deeper, that’s all we’ll see in life: violence, sex, drugs, porn, vulgarity, sin, sin, sin!

Yes, the enemy came to steal, kill, and destroy, and we should be on the defensive against him, but not against people who are different than us. Jesus came to bring full, abundant life. He came to bring redemption for “our” criticism and “their” confusion. He came to beautify people with salvation, not thrash them for petty choices of dress and wordage.

No, I’m not discounting modesty or respect. Good, honourable, desirable qualities, both. I’m simply asking you too look deeper. I’m asking you to consider a different code of behaviour than the list of Dos and Don’ts you grew up with. I’m suggesting that God looks at the heart, and seeks to make changes from the inside out.

Will you be like him?

Gestation of Thought

Sarah StrightLeave a comment

Again, I apologize. My brain has been churning around many different topics, and I haven’t really sat down to focus on any. They’re coming!

Thanks for your patience while my thoughts take shape, and thanks for coming and reading this blog! Also, thanks for your written and verbal comments… please take the opportunity to leave comments to my posts if you can… I really appreciate your feedback, criticism, insight, etc.!

Doctor, Doctor! I have Numb Bum Syndrome!

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I’ve developed a strange ailment over the past few days that I’ve dubbed NBS (Numb Bum Syndrome). Wikipedia could tell me nothing about the disease, so I must have invented it. Perhaps I should contact a medical journal about writing an article about this emerging condition.

The feeling could be compared to how your legs feel after being folded into the backseat of a hatchback for hours on end during a cross-country road trip without potty breaks. It’s likely that old women feel this all the time.

“Stir-crazy” also comes to mind–it’s this sensation of needing to move around, aching for a different position. My behind is going stir-crazy!

It could all be related to a rollerblading accident I had years ago when I fell on my tailbone and screwed it up somethin’ fierce. My sacrum has never been the same since, and apparently now it’s hired its own medical team to invent new ways to remind me that those borrowed rollercoasters-on-wheels had no brakes!

I kid you not: I am unable to comfortably rest on my haunches for any length of time, nor do I seem to find any satisfying positions. For the past few days especially, I’ve been increasingly uneasy as I try to sit at my desk to make cards, on my bed to read, in my armchair to read, on my stool to use my laptop.

If this continues, I’m going to have to adapt my desk from the regular chair-sitting-height it’s at to a sort of waist-high work station where I can choose to stand or sit on a high stool (which I’d also have to go out and spend money on). I’m currently alternating positions to write on my laptop, which is resting on a chair-high stool: abusing my back by bending over, and mistreating my knees by kneeling in front of it . This can’t healthily continue!

Should you be so fortunate as to see me frantically slapping my butt cheeks or jabbing my fist into my tailbone, simply know that you have observed a medical enigma as it happens. If you call yourself my friend, keeping a supply of ice packs on hand when I come visiting would be extremely considerate of you.

From Derriere Dynasty, I leave you,

Benumbed

Creative Void

Sarah StrightLeave a comment

My apologies to those that have come to expect a new post every day or so, only to be disappointed the last few days.

I have to admit a stunning lack of inspiration over the past few days, possibly due to focusing more creative efforts on the beginning of a new season of card-making. It could also mean the posting “honeymoon phase” is over and I’ll have to stockpile creativity when its waves wash over me.

The good news is I’m making cards again, which hopefully will be at least slightly financially lucrative for me. Check out my online shop at sarahnadian.etsy.com. Please remember it’s still in the beginning stages, so don’t judge too harshly! More creativity to come!

With Christ, Against the Grain

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As I sit in the quiet bookstore, reading a magazine article called, “Liquidating Your Life”(1), I find my eyes welling up with tears. The author is recalling the choice of one of her sisters to become a cloistered nun. It’s not a sad story, yet I weep.

A few pages earlier, I was reminded of the thing we call Lent and how its purpose is to point us toward Easter. This article’s author encouraged his readers to give up something they’d miss, such as their Blackberry or coffee, to “identify, if only slightly and with great humility, with Christ’s denial of Himself as He went to the cross.”

Perhaps the root of my tears was the segue from the thought that, this Lenten season, I didn’t feel convicted to give up anything, to the idea that a vibrant, university-educated young woman would reduce her worldly possessions to underwear and glasses.

During the weeks before she made her vows, friends who came to say good-bye left with something of hers. Her clothes went to one sister, her books to another. The author drew her sister’s name at Christmas and chose to purchase a sapling to plant as a family so they’d have a reminder of Heather when they would gather without her for future holidays.

It’s not so much the thought that I couldn’t live without coffee or blogging, but more that I feel I’m missing something that goes much deeper. I’m longing for a soul depth similar to the one that inspired Heather to sacrifice her future for the sake of others, in order to pray for them for the rest of her life. I’ve felt it before when doing things much less sacrificial than becoming a nun, and once again I’m humbled by the feeling.

There are days when I can’t imagine how I lived without wireless Internet and a laptop glued to my hip, or before the days of cell phones. Normally, I would cringe at the thought of living without a car to get around in or a choice of shoes or my skinny jeans or new music every week. Today, however, I’m longing. Longing for a reason to give it all up for the sake of Christ, for the sake of others.

I’d like to be able to truly say:

Jesus, all for Jesus,
All I am and have and ever hope to be.
Jesus, all for Jesus,
All I am and have and ever hope to be.
All of my ambitions, hopes and plans
I surrender these into Your hands.
All of my ambitions, hopes and plans
I surrender these into Your hands. (hear it) (2)
Even as I copy and paste these lyrics, I can feel the reluctance returning, the hesitation that comes with knowing I’ve sung these words flippantly before and I’ll probably do it again; the reluctance to give up all for the sake of King and Kingdom. Yet part of me remains desperate for a reason to do just that, a reason to discover what Much-Afraid did on the altar as the High Priest cut the “root of human love” out of her heart(3) so she could live in true grace and freedom.

I hope that someday I’ll be challenged to give up most of my “creature comforts” and make my heart at home in the simple and functional rather than the sophisticated and fashionable. I suspect I’ll find more joy and peace when I do, because I’ll know that every day I’m choosing Christ likeness.

Heather chose not to remain a cloistered nun for the rest of her life, but the stories of men and women who have similarly set aside their lives of convenience will continue to astound and inspire me. Perhaps I’ll do a Lenten fast next year, even if I don’t feel “convicted”.

(1) “Liquidating Your Life”, Holly Rankin Zaher. (Relevant Magazine, Mar-Apr 2007, p.46) (2) Robin Mark, 1990 Word Music. (3) Hind’s Feet on High Places, Hannah Hurnard.

The Accidental Ditz

Sarah StrightLeave a comment
I consider myself a reasonably intelligent person.

I’ve posted before about the box full of awards I have from high school and how my name is up on some of those plaques still hung in the hallways of St. Anne’s (totally not bragging then or now). I regularly find people to be shallow. I enjoy reading, and by reading I don’t mean deciphering text messages or IM slang, or even flipping through comic books. I’m referring to those things that are full of pages covered in words that are actually spelled out in long form which take many hours to get through. I’ve also been around. I’m fluent in Spanish and can understand Portuguese (again, not bragging). My well-schooled boyfriend calls me one of the most knowledgeable uneducated people he knows (this could be my own twisted intepretation of his words). That’s gotta count for something!

Alas! I astound myself regularly by doing things that would prove me the opposite of intelligent. Or, perhaps, as my boss says, it’s all to keep me humble. If that’s true, I may very well be the most arrogant employee she’s ever had, on my way to being the most humble. If I tell you all the stupid things I’ve done at the bookstore, you may never darken its door when I’m on duty. However, for entertainment purposes, here are a few:

I sold a box of communion wafers worth $30 for the price of a small container of communion cracker bits, worth $3.50-ish. My boss had to call to ask for more money.
After selling several CDs to several people over a period of several days (I hope it wasn’t longer than that), I suddenly realized that I hadn’t been taking the little square coupons off of them. These are coupons that have to be submitted to the music supplier so they can reimburse us for the extra $2.00 discount we give the customer. My boss had to call people to ask them to go through their trash, houses, and cars to look for the little yellow stickers and bring them back to us.

I charged someone’s credit card $66.50 when their purchase totalled $62.79. My boss had to write them an apologetic letter with a cheque enclosed for the difference.
I allowed a customer to take merchandise after only paying a deposit. She said she’d know by the next day or the day after whether it was what she needed or not, and after all, it was a gift for the children of that man that died suddenly a few weeks ago (Wondering Why). Three days later when she was still a no-show, my boss had me call the woman to ask her to come in to settle her account. It was on her “To-Do List” for sometime soon…

I’m not sure why my boss hasn’t fired me yet. Then again, maybe this post will give her due cause. I hope this ditziness isn’t permanent. Maybe I can blame global warming.

47 Beavers on the Big, Blue Sea

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And the beavers pulled upon the oars
And the beavers rowed away from shore
And the beavers two, and the beavers three,
Forty-seven beavers on the big, blue sea!

No one thought that beavers were capable of scheming.
If you’d say, “They’ll row away,” most folks would say you’re dreaming.
But here they were and there they went across the briny blue,
Calling out a cadence like a real Olypmpic crew.

For a week or two the beaver crew rowed the Great Pacific,
Till from the north a storm blew in with winds that were terrrific!
And one by one, their oars blew off and vanished! Mercy me!
And forty-seven beavers were left bobbin’ in the sea!

Phil Vischer, the mastermind behind the ever-entertaining Veggie Tales, has gone out on a new limb: Jellyfish. Jellyfish is Phil’s new creative company, through which he hopes to pursue new ministry opportunies. If 47 Beavers on the Big, Blue Sea is any indication of the stuff that JellyfishPress is going to be producing, his books will be a smash hit just like his videos!

I never set out to do product reviews on this here blog site, but I couldn’t help myself after reading this children’s book this morning in the bookstore I work at (we’ve got it on sale!), reading and laughing. The illustrations, by Jared Chapman, are, of course, hilarious, too! This is the kind of book that you won’t mind reading to your kids over and over and over… like, ten times in 30 minutes! At least, I won’t!

My neices are getting one.

The Reality of a Mother’s Shape

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Never having been pregnant, I’m fascinated at the shapes the bodies of mothers take after giving birth. For the last few hours, I’ve been wandering through a site that praises motherhood and the shape bellies take while pregnant and afterwards. These pictures and posts have become addictive as mother after mother bares her stretch marks and added flesh to the world, finding satisfaction in exposing her true form to others who have experienced the joys (and ravages) of pregnancy and birth.

Many, many women have shared their stories and photos of their journeys on this website, called The Shape of a Mother, and just as many share how grateful they are that other women have shown the reality of their post-baby bodies. This site has created a community of women who struggle to look at themselves in the mirror, yet are proud of being mommies. Thanks to The Shape of a Mother and its host, Bonnie, a community has been created where women are able to be real about who they are and how they look.

I selfishly find myself hoping my own body doesn’t scar or sag, but why should I be exempt from what my mother, grandmothers, aunts, cousins, sister-in-law, and best friends have experienced? Also, if these mothers’ testimonies are to be trusted, being a mother and seeing and loving the fruit of your womb are totally worth the pain, the discomfort, and the “belly battlefield”. Hopefully I’ll get the chance to encounter my own motherly belly someday!

Perusing these stories and pictures could be quite an enlightening pilgrimage for you, so I’ll share the link to the site. However, I do need to warn you that the photos are not for the squeamish, the prudish, or for all audiences. Some pictures are quite graphic (they’re the honest truth, with little left to wonder about), but they are beautiful in their own right, the right of reality.

The Shape of a Mother

Dedicated to K. and thanks to H.

On Trial: Spring

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Yes, it smells delightfully like spring.

Yes, it’s much easier to drive without piles of snow, ice and slush on the roads.

Yes, we all love coming out of our winter hibernation to enjoy the newfound warmth in the air.

Yes, our kids are much more eager to get their ration of fresh air and Vitamin D.

However… I’M NOT READY FOR IT!!

After living in tropical countries for several winter seasons, I have been very eager to experience a good, solid, brutal Canadian winter (did that ever actually happen in Huron County??). Seeing as how winter didn’t actually start ’til about the middle of January, I’m not ready for it to be over!

I’m not ready for the muddy wetness associated with all of the snow melting.

I’m not ready to put away the boots and coat that I spent decent money on this season because I hadn’t needed them for years.

I’m not ready to give up on the prospect of going sledding, snowball fighting, skating, snowshoeing, skiing, or snowboarding, none of which I pursued during those almost two months of winter we’ve had (reason not apparent).

I’m not ready to have to shave my legs regularly simply because skirt and short weather is just around the corner.

Whatever Wiarton Willie or your local shadow-spying groundhog “predicted” this year, I’m making a counter-prediction, or perhaps a demand: winter is NOT over ’til the winter-deprived lady says so. That’s me.

So what if I also enjoy the spring-laden air and being able to go out without ten layers on… I can wait at least another month!

Winter, come back!!