The Accidental Ditz

I consider myself a reasonably intelligent person.

I’ve posted before about the box full of awards I have from high school and how my name is up on some of those plaques still hung in the hallways of St. Anne’s (totally not bragging then or now). I regularly find people to be shallow. I enjoy reading, and by reading I don’t mean deciphering text messages or IM slang, or even flipping through comic books. I’m referring to those things that are full of pages covered in words that are actually spelled out in long form which take many hours to get through. I’ve also been around. I’m fluent in Spanish and can understand Portuguese (again, not bragging). My well-schooled boyfriend calls me one of the most knowledgeable uneducated people he knows (this could be my own twisted intepretation of his words). That’s gotta count for something!

Alas! I astound myself regularly by doing things that would prove me the opposite of intelligent. Or, perhaps, as my boss says, it’s all to keep me humble. If that’s true, I may very well be the most arrogant employee she’s ever had, on my way to being the most humble. If I tell you all the stupid things I’ve done at the bookstore, you may never darken its door when I’m on duty. However, for entertainment purposes, here are a few:

I sold a box of communion wafers worth $30 for the price of a small container of communion cracker bits, worth $3.50-ish. My boss had to call to ask for more money.
After selling several CDs to several people over a period of several days (I hope it wasn’t longer than that), I suddenly realized that I hadn’t been taking the little square coupons off of them. These are coupons that have to be submitted to the music supplier so they can reimburse us for the extra $2.00 discount we give the customer. My boss had to call people to ask them to go through their trash, houses, and cars to look for the little yellow stickers and bring them back to us.

I charged someone’s credit card $66.50 when their purchase totalled $62.79. My boss had to write them an apologetic letter with a cheque enclosed for the difference.
I allowed a customer to take merchandise after only paying a deposit. She said she’d know by the next day or the day after whether it was what she needed or not, and after all, it was a gift for the children of that man that died suddenly a few weeks ago (Wondering Why). Three days later when she was still a no-show, my boss had me call the woman to ask her to come in to settle her account. It was on her “To-Do List” for sometime soon…

I’m not sure why my boss hasn’t fired me yet. Then again, maybe this post will give her due cause. I hope this ditziness isn’t permanent. Maybe I can blame global warming.

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