After reading Jimi’s “Boyfriend’s Rebuttal” to my post “My Cyber Boyfriend“, some of you may be taken aback by his use of some words (“ass” and “damn”). You’re wondering about my choice in men and you may even secretly doubt my own “Christian” values. Why am I with a guy that’s so open about swearing? Why did I not delete his post to prevent people from possibly being offended?

You’ll have to ask Jimi about his stance on swearing (yes, he does actually have something to say about it). I’m not going to either defend or debunk his use of different words (other than “o” instead of “au” when followed by “contraire“… that is just plain wrong).

As for me, I’m not offended. I’m likewise not offended when someone wears pyjamas to church, or spills their coffee on a Bible, or gets “Jesus is my homeboy” tattooed on their neck. I think the idea of “Christian” metalcore music is sweet (although I’m not a fan of the term “Christian” with regards to music and its genres)! I think Jesus would be willing to share a meal with his family in his house (your church) on Sundays, and I don’t think he’d quail at including wine in that meal. I think we could find Jesus at the movies and in the bars.

You may be thinking, “Sarah, this isn’t about legalism, it’s about your boyfriend’s potty mouth and your acceptance of it”.

I’d venture to say it’s about what really matters to us–someone’s actions or someone’s heart. People’s actions will often offend us, and if we leave it at that and refuse to dig deeper, that’s all we’ll see in life: violence, sex, drugs, porn, vulgarity, sin, sin, sin!

Yes, the enemy came to steal, kill, and destroy, and we should be on the defensive against him, but not against people who are different than us. Jesus came to bring full, abundant life. He came to bring redemption for “our” criticism and “their” confusion. He came to beautify people with salvation, not thrash them for petty choices of dress and wordage.

No, I’m not discounting modesty or respect. Good, honourable, desirable qualities, both. I’m simply asking you too look deeper. I’m asking you to consider a different code of behaviour than the list of Dos and Don’ts you grew up with. I’m suggesting that God looks at the heart, and seeks to make changes from the inside out.

Will you be like him?